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work, The meeting ended with a new courage, a new
inspiration - one salesperson volunteered to work fourteen
hours a day - and Mr. Seltz reported to me that the
increase of sales was phenomenal.
The people had made a sort of moral bargain with
me, " said Mr. Seltz, and as long as I lived up to my part
in it, they were determined to live up to theirs. Consulting
them about their wishes and desires was just the shot
in the arm they needed.
No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold some-
thing or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that
we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own
ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our
wants, our thoughts.
Take the case of Eugene Wesson. He lost countless
thousands of dollars in commissions before he learned
this truth. Mr. Wesson sold sketches for a studio that
created designs for stylists and textile manufacturers.
Mr. Wesson had called on one of the leading stylists in
New York once a week, every week for three years. He
never refused to see me, said Mr. Wesson, but he
never bought. He always looked over my sketches very
carefully and then said: No, Wesson, I guess we don t
get together today.' "
After 150 failures, Wesson realized he must be in a
mental rut, so he resolved to devote one evening a week
to the study of influencing human behavior, to help him
develop new ideas and generate new enthusiasm.
He decided on this new approach. With half a dozen
unfinished artists sketches under his arm, he rushed
over to the buyer s office. "I want you to do me a little
favor, if you will, he said. Here are some uncompleted
sketches. Won t you please tell me how we could finish
them up in such a way that you could use them?
The buyer looked at the sketches for a while without
uttering a word. Finally he said: Leave these with me
for a few days, Wesson, and then come back and see
me.
Wesson returned three davs later, got his suggestions,
took the sketches back to the studio and had them finished
according to the buyer s ideas. The result? All accepted.
After that, this buyer ordered scores of other sketches
from Wesson, all drawn according to the buyer s ideas.
I realized why I had failed for years to sell him, said
Mr. Wesson. " I had urged him to buy what I thought he
ought to have. Then I changed my approach completely.
I urged him to give me his ideas. This made him feel
that he was creating the designs. And he was. I didn t
have to sell him. He bought.
Letting the other person feel that the idea is his or
hers not only works in business and politics, it works in
family life as well. Paul M. Davis of Tulsa, Oklahoma,
told his class how he applied this principle:
My family and I enjoyed one of the most interesting
sightseeing vacation trips we have ever taken. I had long
dreamed of visiting such historic sites as the Civil War
battlefield in Gettysburg, Independence Hall in Philadelphia,
and our nation s capital. Valley Forge, James-town
and the restored colonial village of Williamsburg
were high on the list of things I wanted to see.
In March my wife, Nancy, mentioned that she had
ideas for our summer vacation which included a tour of
the western states, visiting points of interest in New
Mexico, Arizona, California and Nevada. She had
wanted to make this trip for several years. But we
couldn t obviously make both trips.
Our daughter, Anne, had just completed a course in
U.S. history in junior high school and had become very
interested in the events that had shaped our country s
growth. I asked her how she would like to visit the
places she had learned about on our next vacation. She
said she would love to.
Two evenings later as we sat around the dinner table,
Nancy announced that if we all agreed, the summer s
vacation would be to the eastern states, that it would he
a great trip for Anne and thrilling for all of us. We all
concurred.
This same psychology was used by an X-ray manufacturer
to sell his equipment to one of the largest hospitals
in Brooklyn This hospital was building an addition and
preparing to equip it with the finest X-ray department in
America. Dr. L----, who was in charge of the X-ray department,
was overwhelmed with sales representatives,
each caroling the praises of his own company s equipment.
One manufacturer, however, was more skillful. He
knew far more about handling human nature than the
others did. He wrote a letter something like this:
Our factory has recently completed a new line of X-ray
equipment. The first shipment of these machines has just
arrived at our office. They are not perfect. We know that,
and we want to improve them. So we should be deeply
obligated to you if you could find time to look them over
and give us your ideas about how they can be made more
serviceable to your profession. Knowing how occupied you
are, I shall be glad to send my car for you at any hour you
specify.
"I was surprised to get that letter, Dr. L ---- said as
he related the incident before the class. I was both
surprised and complimented. I had never had an X-ray
manufacturer seeking my advice before. It made me feel
important. I was busy every night that week, but I canceled
a dinner appointment in order to look over the
equipment. The more I studied it, the more I discovered
for myself how much I liked it.
Nobody had tried to sell it to me. I felt that the idea
of buying that equipment for the hospital was my own. I
sold myself on its superior qualities and ordered it installed.
Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay Self-Reliance
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